Can the Olsen Twins Get A Little Weirder? They Are Not Quite Weird Enough

I have never liked the Olsen Twins. They are of course Pod People and are very strange.

Of course they guard their privacy quite well and very little is known about them personally. I am surprised no one has written an unauthorized biography on them.

I remember back when they hit the scene in "Full House". What a ridiculous television show that was. I never watched the show but it was everywhere, you couldn't escape it. But that type of TV show was never my cup of tea anyway.

I thought it interesting that the twins' parents chose a lawyer to manage them. Of course he invested in all the right things and had them doing all the right movies and selling all the right crap, so I guess it was inevitable that they would be gozillionaires. I mean when a lawyer is watching over all your business interests and you can somewhat trust him (considering he is getting a nice big, fat cut of the profits) then you are most likely going to make out like a bandit.

I always figured that one of the twins would off themselves before adulthood. Mary Kate seemed to be the likely candidate since she struck me as the most vulnerable of the two. Sad eyes, not really all that happy.

I remember when Mary Kate was sent off to the rehab place to put on some weight since they told us she was anorexic. Of course everyone knows that she wasn't anorexic, she was a heroin addict and still is. She is no healthier, she does the same things, she hasn't really changed at all.

Ashley on the other hand seemed to have more spunk and get up and go and seemed to be happier. After all she was the "cute one", according to the song. She also seems to be the more obnoxious one of the two.

When you read the gossip columns she is the one putting her cigarettes out in people's drinks and using the foulest of language. She is the one who really doesn't give a shit. She is also the one who was supplying Heath Ledger with drugs. Why do you think that she refused to appear before the grand jury? She's a heroin addict too. She wasn't going to go in there and talk about her drug addiction. She has the money to stay out of court, what do you think that lawyer is for?

But aside from all that crap, I was watching Morning Blow this morning and Willie had in his News You Can't Use segment a mention of Ashley Olsen not washing her hands after going to the bathroom. I guess in New York you could call that news if you were really pressed.

Apparently she was at a movie theater and went in to go take a piss and just came out when she was done and failed to stop at the sink and wash her hands. Someone saw it and called the press. This makes the news. I'm like "What"?

So I do a little research to see if this is a gag and found something else related to that story.

It seems here in the recent past Ashley was at a restaurant in New York and was approached by some teenage girls who had "Piss Fetishes". They come walking up to the table doing the "Pee Dance" and asked her if she would let them watch her piss. Hello!?

Well, you know how Pod People are, they have been bred in the strangest of ways and Ashley probably is no stranger to that kind of stuff. Anyway, she accommodates them by going to the bathroom and letting them watch her piss and then just as she is finishing, before she can wipe, they yank her off the toilet and start pissing in the same toilet she did and getting off on it. I guess they got off on watching her piss too.

Afterwards, they all get to take pictures with her in the restroom. Isn't that heartwarming?

There are actually pictures with these girls on the net. Standing next to Ashley Olsen in the crapper. I don't understand this. Why is this news?

I don't know maybe I am becoming the freak for being normal. That is a scary thought when normal has become abnormal. Where and when did it change?

Leave it to the pod people to keep us entertained by their weird antics.